This video starts off simple enough, a local Sheriff from St. Landry Parish, Louisiana presenting the local Crime Stoppers segment on ABC affiliate, KATC. It gets… odd.
After explaining the details of the crime, well… let’s have the Sheriff’s Deputy explain it himself:
Stelly’s has been a local favorite for decades. The family works hard and has been known to be generous. Always with a kind word for friends or strangers, the Stelly family represents southern hospitality at its best.
Pretty good sell for the local, small town supermarket, still reeling from their burglary. He keeps going, first with a warning to the criminal at large:
If you’re the man that committed this felony, look at me son, I’m talking to you. The Sheriff likes Stelly’s restaurant, and so do I. The food here is good and the folks are friendly.
Well, the local police really like this Stelly’s. The Crime Stoppers segment / commercial for Stelly’s continues:
We’re going to identify you, arrest you and put you in a small cell. After that, I’m gonna have a cheeseburger here… with fries and a Coke. And leave a nice tip for the waitress.
You’ll notice around this promise of eventually cheeseburger meal, a Coca-Cola delivery trucks drives into frame. Coincidence or product placement?
Also, criminals beware because detectives somehow retrieved DNA evidence from a brick! Also, he left a shoe print on the door when he kicked it in! Presumably a detective is in a lab asking a lab technician to enhance something and, after a quick search of a database, we’ll get the guy and finally eat that cheeseburger.
See also: Novorossiya news today.